


Firsts

by kathkin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:23:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Gwen share first times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Firsts

**Author's Note:**

> So this was basically written in a fit of nostalgia for the early days of fandom, back when I first shipped Merlin/Gwen (which I do again now, oh joy of joys). Set between _The Poisoned Chalice_ and _Lancelot_.  Beta'd by [](http://magelight5.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://magelight5.livejournal.com/)**magelight5**.

It was not Merlin’s first kiss. It wasn’t Gwen’s either. But it was the first time either of them had kissed anyone after nearly dying (though not the last), so it was alright. And it was Gwen’s first time kissing Merlin, and Merlin’s first time kissing Gwen, so that was alright as well.

‘Course, it was messy and hasty and rather spoiled by the fact that Merlin wasn’t anywhere near recovered from the poison and had just drunk a rather disgusting (though life-saving) potion. But still.  
  
\--  
  


Shortly thereafter came Merlin’s first time kissing someone whilst doing laundry (though not Gwen’s) and Gwen’s first time kissing someone while hunting for mushrooms out in the woods (though not Merlin’s), and the first time either of them had kissed anyone for an extended period of time (around four or five minutes without stopping, they hadn’t counted).  
  


Which, by a natural progression of things, led to the first time either of them had… well.  
  
\--  
  


Merlin had planned it all out very carefully, up to a point. He waited until a night when Gaius wasn’t around, made sure his room was actually tidy for once, and brought in some flowers in the hope that they might make it smell nice (he’d had to endure quite a lot of teasing from Arthur when he was caught bringing them back through the castle). But he could only plan so far. Because once they reached a certain point, he had no idea what he was doing (that he had absolutely no idea how to get Gwen’s dress off was only the start).  
  


“Mm,” he said. He broke the kiss. Gwen’s head dropped back down against the pillow with a little frown. “Well,” he said. Her hair was mussed up, framing her face like a cloud, and he couldn’t help but smile.  
  


“Well what?” she said. The smile faded from his face when he realised he didn’t have a clue. Oh, and Gwen’s bodice had worked its way down her chest a little. He blushed. “I mean,” said Gwen. “Not that I’m hurrying you along or anything. I’m… _eager_. Not that I don’t want to – I mean, I – if that’s what you want to do, I mean –”  
  


Gwen’s breasts – which were rather more revealed than normal – were heaving slightly. It was such a distracting sight that it took Merlin a few seconds to realise she’d stopped talking.  
  


“Hmm?” he said. “Oh. Yes.”  
  


“Yes?” she said. “Yes to which part?”  
  


Merlin blinked. “How many questions did you ask?” he said. He wondered what she’d say if he tried to pull her dress down even further. Either she’d be very pleased or she’d slap him. He wasn’t sure it was worth the risk.  
  


Gwen’s brow furrowed in a way that was hugely endearing. “I… just the one, actually. What were you going to say?”  
  


“I was going to say something?” said Merlin. Then, “Oh! Right. Yes. Um.” Gwen stared quizzically up at him.He swallowed. “Would it be alright with you if I took your dress off?”  
  


So far they had abandoned their shoes, Merlin’s jacket and neckscarf, and the shawl Gwen had brought with her (because it was rather cold out that evening).  
  


“Oh,” said Gwen. “Yes. Of course. I’d like that very much.”  
  


“Alright,” said Merlin. His fingers brushed the hem where it was slipping down her chest. “Um, I don’t know how it –”  
  


“At the back,” said Gwen, sitting up rather too suddenly. They only just avoided knocking their heads together. “Oh!” she said as he jerked out of the way. “I’m so sorry!”  
  


“It’s alright,” he said, pulling back a little further (he’d been doing his best to avoid letting her notice his, er, man-reaction). “I mean, really – oh.” He swallowed. Gwen had reached around behind herself and unfastened her dress, letting the bodice fall away almost completely.  
  


Gwen’s breasts really were lovely, all smooth skin and dark nipples and soft-looking. Merlin had never touched a girl’s breasts before (well, he’d had them pressed up against him through several layers of cloth, but that hardly counted). He wasn’t quite sure he dared.  
  


“You can touch them, if you like,” said Gwen. “If that’s what you want. Don’t feel you – oh.”  
  


Merlin rested one hand on her breast. They were every bit as soft as they looked, and just a little bit too big to fit in his hands. Once he was feeling a little bolder, he squeezed gently, rubbed a thumb across her nipple (her breath hitched at that. The sound filled him with pride). He lifted his other hand from the bed, hesitated, and inclined his head – _can I?_ She nodded.  
  


He took hold of her other breast and gave it a squeeze too, a little harder. They felt quite delicate. It was slightly alarming.  
  


“Well,” she said once he’d toyed with them for a few minutes.  
  


“Yes?” he said. “Oh – do you want me to –”  
  


Gwen reached up and pulled his hands off her silently. Then she tugged her dress down even further, down around her waist, then her hips, until he caught a glimpse of dark curly hair down between her legs… he looked away hurriedly.  
  


“It’s alright,” she said. “You can look. If you want to. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
  


“I do,” he said. “It’s just I wasn’t sure _you_ wanted me to.”  
  


“Oh, I do want you to!” she said, smiling. Then her face fell. “Not that I –”  
  


“It’s alright,” he said. He reached down and took hold of her dress, helped her slip it down further, past her thighs, then her knees (which he thought were quite likely the prettiest knees he’d seen, even if his experience was somewhat limited). There was an awkward moment when it got tangled up with her feet, but thankfully that didn’t last long.  
  


For a moment she just smiled up at him, happy and naked, and he was happy too. But then he realised that he was still pretty much completely clothed, and that seemed so very rude. He started trying to tug his shirt off rather too quickly, and came rather too close to elbowing her in the face.  
  


“Oh!” she said, flinching.  
  


“Oh, God,” he said, one arm still in his shirt. “I’m sorry! I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  
  


“No, it’s alright,” she said, blinking. Startled. “You didn’t touch me.”  
  


“Oh, good,” he said with a relieved smile. Then he realised he was still tangled in his shirt, and divested himself off it.  
  


Once it was safely on the floor beside his bed (that was where he kept it anyway), he reached for the laces of his breeches. And paused.  
  


“What’s wrong?” she said.  
  


“Nothing,” he said. He swallowed. “Well, it’s just. Well. I’m…” He pulled what he hoped was a very explanatory face. She stared up at him, confused. He pulled the face again and gestured with his head. A few long seconds passed.  
  


Then, “Oh!” she said. “You mean – well – you’re –”  
  


“Is that alright?” he said. His hand was still on his crotch. He really did want to take off his breeches. They were uncomfortably tight right now.  
  


“Well,” she said. “Yes. I mean, I do know how these things work. Not that I’ve done this before, of course…” she trailed off.  
  


“You don’t mind, do you?” he said. “Doing this? I’m not – I wouldn’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.”  
  


“Oh, no!” she said. “I wouldn’t have come tonight if I didn’t want to – not that I was expecting you to –”  
  


It occurred to Merlin that they hadn’t kissed for quite a while. And that a distraction would be rather welcome. So he kissed her on the lips, lingering, then took hold of one of her breasts again (they really were very nice to hold. He wouldn’t mind doing that all night instead).  
  


“Shall I take them off, then?” he said, face still very close to hers. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t.  
  


“Your breeches?” she said. Then, “Oh, yes. Of course.” He nodded and reached for the laces again.  
  


Thankfully there was no awkward tangling this time – they were old and slightly too large, always threatening to fall off when he didn’t want them to, so it wasn’t hard to kick them away – and then, quite suddenly, he had nothing else to hide. Nothing at all.  
  


Gwen’s eyes flicked down. She took a long, long look, long enough that it started to become rather frightening (he was quite certain that she was judging him), but then she looked back at his face and smiled cautiously.  
  


“Right,” she said. “Shall we?”  
  


“Of course,” he said. He moved his hands up onto the pillow, on either side of her head. “Um.” He felt her fingers brush him… _there_. He swallowed.  
  


“Do you mind?” she said.  
  


“Not at all,” he said. His eyes slid closed as her hand slipped around him, hesitant, uncertain.  
  


He didn’t think she had the slightest idea what to do, but that didn’t matter. He’d never had anyone else touch him like this before, and it was making his breath catch in his throat and his head spin. He was already close. He really didn’t want to… well.  
  


He reached down and stilled her hand. “Stop,” he said. His voice was hoarse. He swallowed and tried again. “Stop.”  
  


“Is something wrong?” she said. But she drew back, so that was alright. He took a few deep breaths.  
  


“No,” he gasped out. “Just… I’ve never done this, and it was too much. I think maybe–”  
  


“Oh,” she said.  
  


Her legs fell open.  
  


Reaching between them was exploring completely unfamiliar territory – he had vague notions of what girls had down there, based on what he’d heard from the other boys in Ealdor, and a few extremely awkward minutes spent leafing through the anatomy book Gaius kept at the far end of the shelf and thought he didn’t know about (he’d slammed it shut as soon as he got to the first illustration and hadn’t looked at it since), but he didn’t know any specifics. So it was all new and interesting, if rather frightening (good God, what if he hurt her?).  
  


He discovered that the feeling of warm, wet flesh beneath his finger tips was a pleasant one, and that his fingers slipped between her folds so easily that it was almost as if they were moving themselves. He wanted to explore a little more, find out how many of his vague notions were true, but he was so hard it was starting to hurt now, and he felt that maybe he should hurry things along before… well.  
  


“D’you mind if I just…?” he said, fingers still tucked away between her folds.  
  


She nodded, reached down and guided his hand a little lower, down to – oh.  
  


His fingers slipped right up inside her, and his mouth fell open as she screwed her eyes shut and panted. “Oh!”  
  


“Am I hurting you?” said Merlin.  
  


“It’s alright,” she said. “Just… new. I haven’t…” She opened her eyes. “Go on. I know you want to. At least –”  
  


He kissed her again to stop her from babbling, then shuffled forward awkwardly until he could feel the hot wetness that was _Gwen_ brushing against the tip of his prick.  
  


It was a lot harder than he’d expected (not that he’d really know what to expect), but then she reached down and helped him find the right angle, so that when he moved forward he slid straight into her and oh, _oh_ …  
  


He froze halfway in and tried to catch his breath, tried to control himself.  
  


“It’s alright,” she said. He felt her hands on his hips. “If you – too soon. Not that I’m saying you will or anything, it’s just that I’ve heard – if it’s your first time – I don’t mind. Honest.”  
  


He nodded – he had a horrible suspicion that any attempts to speak right now would come out as _blahsnshdhnagwen_ – and shuffled forward a little more.  
  


It was so good, so hot and wet and tight and _Gwen_ , and she looked so beautiful spread out under him that it was _too good_. He pulled back and pushed in again once, twice, three times, and then that was it, he couldn’t take any more, he, he –  
  


He slumped down and forward, face pressed against her neck, gasping, hands clutching at the pillow. He let out a little happy moan. He knew it hadn’t been much, but it was certainly the best he’d had since, well, ever.  
  


“Sorry,” he murmured once he found his voice.  
  


“It’s alright,” she said, stroking his shoulder. “I understand.” She shifted uncomfortably underneath him and he realised he was still inside her, going soft. He pulled out hurriedly, probably too quickly – he heard a little hiss of shock – but, well, he wasn’t exactly at his best right now.  
  


“Sorry,” he said again. He propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at her. She smiled back up at him. “D’you want me to… I don’t really know what to do, but I can try.”  
  


“I’d like that,” she said, taking his hand and guiding it back between her legs. “I’d like that very much.”  
  
\--  
  


They woke up the next morning all tangled up and still naked, with Merlin’s blanket and his spare blanket draped over them haphazardly. Gaius was banging on the door, demanding to know why, exactly, Merlin had felt the need to barricade it from the inside with a chair.  
  


“Wha’?” he said, not really processing what was going on yet.  
  


“Merlin, why have you barricaded yourself into your room?” Gaius called back.  
  


Oh. This was not good. “No reason,” he called. The handle rattled anyway. “Don’t try to come in!” he shouted, sitting up. Gwen let out a sleepy, irritated noise next to him when his arm slipped out from under her. “I’m not wearing anything!”  
  


Silence. “You do realise you’re late for work.”  
  


“Oh,” said Merlin. “I’ll leave when I’ve got some clothes on, then.”  
  


“I think you’d better had,” said Gaius. “I’m going down to the well. You’d better be gone by the time I get back.”  
  


Merlin waited till he heard the outside door close before falling back against the pillows. He shook Gwen’s shoulder gently.  
  


“Hmm?” she said, opening one eye, then the other.  
  


“Gaius says I’m late for work and better be gone by the time he’s back from the well, so I think maybe we should. Y’know. Get dressed. Because if he comes back and you’re still here he’ll realise that happened and I’m not sure that’s a conversation I really want to have.”  
  


“Oh,” said Gwen. “Right.” She sat up, pulling the blankets up around her. “It’s alright. I understand. I’m not looking forward to telling my father where I’ve been all night either.”  
  


Merlin’s heart sank. “He’s not going to be angry with me, is he?”  
  


“I won’t tell him,” she said. “Don’t worry. Not that I think he’d hurt you or anything. He’s really very gentle.”  
  


“Yes, but…” Merlin gestured vaguely. He meant it to mean _he’s a blacksmith with muscles and a vast array of heavy tools that could also function as weapons_ , but that didn’t come across very well. It earned him a blank stare. “I’m going to put my clothes back on,” he said. He climbed out of bed.  
  


“Me too,” she said. She kept the blanket wrapped around herself as she stood up and picked her away across the floor to where her dress had fallen. Merlin turned to face the window, groped blindly for his breeches (it seemed a little redundant, because hadn’t he seen everything last night?, but he did it anyway).  
  
\--  
  


He didn’t see her again till that afternoon. They spoke to each other like nothing had happened, and Merlin felt strangely relieved.  
  
\--  
  


In fact, the subject of _how we spent the other night naked in your bed and you touched my breasts a lot and I saw your man-reaction and you did some very nice things with your fingers and your tongue that you’d never done before and overall it was a very enjoyable experience for us both_ didn’t come up ‘til the next day, when they were out in the forest on a combined flowers-and-mushrooms gathering trip.  
  


“About the other night,” said Gwen very suddenly, in the middle of a conversation about whether Morgana would like blue flowers or white flowers better.  
  


“Yes?” said Merlin. He swallowed, suddenly nervous.  
  


“I just – I don’t think we should do it again,” she said. “I’m not sure it’d be a good idea.”  
  


Relief flooded through him. He tried very hard not to sigh. “That’s quite alright,” he said. “Not that –”  
  


“I mean, it was very nice and all, but –”  
  


“–But I just think it would be easier –”  
  


“–If we were just friends,” she finished.  
  


“Yeah, that,” he said.  
  


There was a long pause. A bird tweeted off in the distance somewhere.  
  


“It was lovely, though,” she said. “What we did.”  
  


“Oh!” he said. “Yes. Definitely.”  
  


“I don’t regret it at all,” she said.  
  


“Me neither.”  
  


“Right.”  
  


“Good.”  
  


“Yes.”  
  


And another pause.  
  


“I think Morgana would like blue better,” said Merlin. “She wears it quite a lot, doesn’t she?”  
  


Gwen’s face broke into a delighted, relieved smile. “Blue it is,” she said, kneeling to pick the flowers.


End file.
